Good Ol’ Sturdivant Kleeb comes through in a big way today. First off, he’s not only promising Amanda Lynn his virginity, he’s promising his… well, lip-virginity. Lip-ginity? Lipoginity? Whatever, that he’s never kissed a girl before. Apparently the thrift store where he bought his Yale sweater didn’t have any women in it.
Even better, while most people trying to build a web of lies in hopes of securing first-hand knowledge of a woman’s womanly bits can keep their story straight for at least a little while, Sturdivant Kleeb contradicts himself in the very next sentence.
Amanda Lynn, meanwhile, shows some never-before-seen insightfulness, proving that you don’t need to be able to count to two to know when someone’s just after your sweet rural jumblies. But how does she pull this off, exactly? I’m assuming that she’s just phantasmagorically self-centered: Numbers belong to the mundane wold that everyone shares, but her nipples are hers and therefore matter. (I was going to say that they “count”, but as I’m not a fan of the wordplay gags in it would be a bit hypocritical to make that semi-joke.)
[...] than letting the young lovers (in a purely spiritual sense, since Sturdy’s promised his lipginity) have their time, he demands that they go to bed, lest the hay bales go unbaled in the morning, or [...]
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[...] already making googly eyes at Amanda Lynn’s sister, and that he’s already given pretty conflicting accounts of how many women he’s kissed, I think an affair would be likely if he were actually going to [...]
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