Apparently the Hill Folk Are French

My, oh my.

The Pyes really aren’t angry that Sturdivant was cheating on their maybe-still-granddaughter. They’re just mad about the timing. The Code o’ th’ Hills permits two-timing when you’re married, but not before. Apparently when you’re still courting, it would kill the romance, but once you’re married, it’s adultery, which is romantic enough in and of itself to compensate. Every French romance novel I’ve ever read agrees. (Okay, that would be zero, but every French romance novel I’ve ever imagined agrees also. Plus, it sounds like a French type of idea.)

This has some interesting consequences if all matters of law and morality come down to mere issues of timing. Like, say, is it okay to lie to protect someone’s feelings? Sure, as long as it’s within fourteen minutes of the time their feelings would be hurt if the lie weren’t told. Cheating on your taxes? As long as you send it in before April 15! It even works for the hot-button topic of abortion: go for it Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, except during Lent, but abstain Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, unless it’s a full moon, when it’s okay, as long as you go to a doctor who got his or her degree before 1997 or after 2002.

The Code o’ th’ Hills is quite an involved document, you see. Especially since the people who live by it can’t really read.