This Is Why You Need an Exit Strategy!

While I’m not all that shocked that the Kleebs didn’t want their son back, I’ll admit I didn’t follow it through to its logical consequences until Scancarelli lit the path. Yep, now the Pye boys are stuck with one philandering somnambulist that they can’t get rid of.

Not really surprising. There’s a serious supply-demand imbalance. The market has been flooded with philandering somnambulists (i.e., one), and the demand for philandering somnambulists is, well, zero.

The Pyes decry college, but if they’d have gone, they would probably understand that. They’d also probably understand the importance of an exit strategy. (They might have done so if they’d have been reading the newspapers they were sleeping under, at least if the newspapers had any kind of international news coverage.)

Anyhow, the Pyes are reduced to demanding ransom from the kidnapee himself, which may or may not work. Do people carry their wallets when they’re getting married? It seems like it might ruin the line of the tuxedo, and Sturdy’s the kind of fellow who might care about that (it would hamper his chances at scoring with the bridesmaids). But I’ve never been married, so I don’t know for certain.

There’s also the very real possibility that, after considering it, Sturdivant would decide that even he doesn’t want himself and refuse to pay. And then, the Pyes really would be stuck with him, and their get-rich-quick scheme really would be reduced to quoting credit card slogans in hopes of snaring illicit endorsement fees. Which isn’t likely. But it might get them a couple extra points on their APR.